Sanzo is not gay after all
by Kum0
Summary: the same lively surprise waits for him at every corner of the road. Ok,third hopefully last corrected version.Thanks to all of you who reviewed the previous version . It was very helpful to me!


The tepid breeze blew along the jeep ,as it ran on one of the rares straight dirtroads that carried to the west.

It was a rather calm day for the Sanzo ikkoku's standards ; they had only had one attack from some Gyokumenkoshu's killers in the early dawn : lately,the strenght of their enemies had increased,but still they clearly showed "the most boringly repetitive lack of sense" as Sanzo was heard saying once.

The late morning was clinging into a shiny warm afternoon that weared out even Goku's usual hyperactiveness; at present he was heavily snoring in his seat on the back of the car.

Gojio smoked and just stared at the road with his droopy eyes half closed - no wonder even him was getting captured by that afternoon's drowsy atmosphere-.

Mainly because of this,in spite of his natural sweet voice, everyone had a sudden shudder

when Hakkai first broke that wall of silence : "Isn't that a fork, over there ? I guess well'have to stop once we reach it,I need to take a look to our map."

"Nh." Sanzo grumped in approval ; "It's getting damn hot" he then added ,before taking his 'Sanzo hoshi ' crown out of the bag and putting it right on his head.

"What a so- magnificent show of nobility,your highness Sanzo sa-" Gojio started to murmur in his usually mocking voice unless..

BLAM !

"...I'm putting on this prissy thing just for the sake of my boiling head,and IF the concept isn't plain enough in your brain,I could always help it in with a bullet !"

Sanzo shouted loud,now towering over Gojio with his feet on the seat,and the gun pointed at the kappa.

"all right,all right..Mrs Hysteria..."

" Say What?" "Nothing ,nothing!" Gojio answered quickly,his blood running cold as the gun's barrel was now lowered at the exact level of his temple."Hrumph." grumbled Sanzo,replacing himself in his seat roughly.

then he noticed that Hakkai had improvisely slowed down the jeep's speed.

"Why are you..?" he asked " The fork's still distant."

"Oh,didn't you notice it ? We have guests."

Sanzo frowned and put himself on the lookout to perceive any sign of demonic presence.

Hakkai huffled with a soft smirk on his face and stopped the jeep.

"Whaaat? Enemies? Hey,wake up you monkey,Time for some stretching!" Gojio yelled,shaking Goku up; he then hurled himself out of the jeep to stand in front of it astride.

"Is that the way to wake up someone who was sleeping so pacefully?And don't you dare to call me monkey ever again you perverted kappa! "

rowled Goku while taking his stand beside him.

Seconds passed during which the only sound was Hakkai's sweet voice from the car ,praising their incredible spring and energy.

"Well,it's only me or are they being a little late?" Goku asked ,glancing at Hakkai with eyes widened questioningly.

Sanzo too was looking at him with an "exlpainyourselfquicklyandclearlywhileyoucan" stare

" Nope,Nope, you see.." Hakkai started while a strange dust cloud appeared at the bottom of the road :

" It's a guest only Sanzo can receive appropriately.." he joyfully looked at Sanzo once he finished this sentence,and a deafening cheer rised from the dust cloud,while it approached more and more.

"OH,NO...tell me it's no.."

He couldn't finish his sentence . An extremely lively Lirin had already sprang out of the dust,passed a dumbfounded Goijo running on all fours beneath his legs, and eventually used Goku's head as a launching pad ( "Gaaaaaah! damn you,don't you try to do it ever again !") to jump on a very indisposed Sanzo's lap.

" Weeeeee!Sanzo baldie!It's been such a long time!" she chirped with her large sweet smile.

"You vexing little creature..." Sanzo murmured with his voice trembling in rage.. "It'..In.. just why the hell are you here now? And I told you a million times I'm not ba.."

" Well,well " Hakkai interrupted "We're every day closer to the Hoto castle..I guess

that makes it more simple for her to reach us.." " I already knew it ! BUT WHY.."

"Obviously,to play with Sanzo baldie!" answered Lirin ,not frightened at all by the monk's scowl and shouts.

"..So,let's begin!" She stated before trying to climb Sanzo's shoulders to settle herself on her usual place.

" NO WAY!" he caught her waist and dragged her down : she accidentally fell off astride his hips,wich was not a so-convenient position to stay in front of all the others ,but at the moment Sanzo was too upset to notice it.

" Why the hell don't you go play somewhere else?Or with your damned brother ?"

At this question,Lirin's eyes seemed to widen ; she took a very unusually wistful look :

" For some time past ,brother always stays silent..he doesn't even talk with Yaone- chan or hides in the recesses of the castle,and doesn't give a damn about how we are all worried .He's like a completely different person.."

Everyone had listened to this sad report .For the less they knew Kogaiji,that was very unlike him,and the news had stunned them.

After a moment of deep reflection,Sanzo looked down at Lirin's face .He surprised himself in finding that ,with this bit of seriousness the dejection had given her,she really was more graceful than he had no time even to curse his brain for such thoughts,because Lirin had already regained her shining expression :

" Now that I notice it,Sanzo baldie,why have you put on that ?" she asked pointing at the 'Sanzo hoshi ' crown " Really ,you needen't do it...your natural hair reminds pure gold so vividly ,that's only a shame for this crown."

And with that ,she raised a hand and took the crown away from the monk's head ,gently but fast enough not for her wrist to be caught by Sanzo.

" Wowowowow,Sanzo-saaama!Really your little lady knows well how to praise someone,ya?"

came Gojio's voice ; Goku burst out laughing ,and one moment later he and Gojio were improvising a silly dance,singing aloud : " Sanzo and Lirin,sitting on a tree..." ,while Hakkai's warm smile was giving them a silent approval.

The following moment they where trying hard to dodge a few precisely directed shots.

This kept Sanzo's attention temporarily off Lirin,and when he turned back to her,she had unlaced her ponytail and was now wearing his crown.

Again,Sanzo tried uselessly to catch the mind that ,this time,sincerely considered her beautiful.

Sunbeams were reflecting on the golden crown ,raining down on her hair and eyelids and making their colour intense and shiny as bands began flowing around her with the wind ,as she rised a shy look at his dumbfounded face and asked a little coquettishly :

"So,how do I look ?"

He said nothing for a few seconds,like he didn't hear the question at all,then answered ,out of the blue ,with a voice that even Goku found completely foreign :

" You look like someone's bride."

The presents' jaws ( And ,yes ,I mean Hakkai's too) were about to drop on the ground .Where the hell did that come from?Who was that person who just talked? the normal Sanzo would've already scowled to Lirin, or replied something not surely as nice as what just surged from his mouth.

"Hemm..."

This was the only word Gojio managed to comment with..but it had an effect worse than a heartquake's.

It was like an alarm clock rang in the monk's ears suddenly ,and eyes widened as he gazed at the still blushing Lirin.

She was a demon.

She was an unbearable little brat.

She was holding his beloved master's crown on her head.

And for the kami' s sake she was still stuck on his lap in that akward position!

"SO WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IT'S WRONG WITH ME TODAY!" He asked loudly as he litterally threw Lirin off the car,save his 'sanzo hoshi' crown.

He breathed heavily for a while and then ordered the two 'fighters' to return on the jeep, and Hakkai to squeal off as far as possible from there.

The car's motor had just begun to roar and Gojio&Goku's mockeries to rise,when this words came at Sanzo's ears,laughed from somewhere in the dust behind :

"I'll come again!I'll come again to play !"


End file.
